Wednesday, September 26, 2012

You're going the wrong way!!

Humor me, will you? For the next two minutes and twenty-eight seconds, will you humor me?


Now, let's look at the scene above and break it down a bit, shall we?  (This won't be painful, I swear.)

First: I thought of the title of this clip when I stepped on my scale this morning after a week of this cockamamie Vegan Before 6 idea took hold of my brain.

Second: I'm a dolt and couldn't figure out how to get the five seconds of movie clip that I really wanted, so I'm going a different way with this post.

Third: (Warning: I'm going Freudian on your any way...)

There are three distinct parts to the above video.

The Id
The Ego
And the Super Ego

Let's define them:

John Candy as The Id - i.e. representing my potentially misguided, yet well-intentioned decision to jump headlong into the shallow end of a dietary concept. Candy's character thinks that the couple in the car must be so backwardly wrong that he mocks their very engagement, even thought they are desperately trying to save him and others involved.

Steve Martin as the Ego - i.e. representing my legitimizing and sharing of the idea to anyone and everyone who cared to listed or not. Martin's character blithely assumes, at Candy's word, that the couple in the car are off their rocker, or just are simply wrong in their assumptions.

The Couple In The Car as the Super Ego - i.e. reality.

You see, friends, even thought I have been eating an inordinate amount of vegetables and fruit, cutting out insane amounts of cheese and meat, and literally been hungry for the last week, the scale is...


Thank you for humoring a larger than life lady who is growing wider every day.


Sticking to the regimen, with one, mid-afternoon "I have a deadline and I must have brain function to reach that goal" exception: mini bagel, cream cheese, and salami. 

Goal reached. No guilt. Tomorrow is a new day.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012


I'm pretty happy with how I have been able to stick with this Vegan Before 6 thing. There is one place where I've given myself a small allowance, however. I strongly feel that it's for the betterment of my home life, my work life, and, dare I say, for society as a whole.

A dash of milk in my coffee. I couldn't stomach black coffee without cheese on my toast, or scrambled eggs in front of me, so, while I suck on my celery, I'm drinking my daily dose of get up and go.

Monday, September 24, 2012

Sated and surprised

I'm sitting here at my desk, tapping away at my keyboard realizing how satisfied I am after lunch. It's 2:00, I ate my 1/2 tomato, hummus, and Triscuits at 12:30, and I feel great. No cravings for cheese. No need for a bagel or a cup of coffee to wake up. I don't know if I'm losing weight in all of this, but it certainly is an interesting experiment I'm conducting.

Just wait, I'll pass out of delirious hunger in 20 minutes but my blood sugar will be so low that I won't have the ability to

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Trying something new - Vegan Before Six

Last Wednesday I went to go see Mark Bittman talk in downtown Seattle. I have been a fan of his for some time, and sometimes not so much, so I was excited to hear what he had to say in person. Truth be told, I was under impressed with his presentation, but I did come away from his talk with something that I have applied to my daily life, and expect to do so for at least a month to see if it has any impact.

At the end of his talk, Bittman realized that he had a couple of minutes to tell a story that was more of an aside to his regular script. He told the audience that a few years ago he went to his doctor 40 pounds over weight, unable to comfortably do his regular exercises, and feeling rather sluggish. His doctor told him his cholesterol and blood sugar were out of whack and that he needed to loose some weight.

So what did he do? He decided, as a food writer, a chef, and all around foodie, that he couldn't go on any kind of elimination diet, and that there was no way that he could or even wanted to give up all of the food that he loved. What he was willing to do, however, was become a vegan before six.


What he meant by this is that he cut out dairy, meat, and animal proteins during the day, then, at 6:00pm, he ate as he normally did. This apparently worked for him because six weeks after that earlier doctor's visit, he had lost 25 pounds.

This intrigued me. As a foodie and a mom who refuses to cook more than one meal at a time, this also made a lot of sense. I haven't been able to come up with a plan for myself that seemed doable, but the idea of eating around my cheese drawer in the daytime seemed like it could be easily done. So, for the last four days I have been following the idea of being vegan before six.

If you do the math, Bittman lost an average of 4+ pounds a week. In my four days at it, I have yet to see that kind of weight loss, but what I have noticed is just how much dairy I was consuming. As my family and friends can tell you, I am a cheesehead. I love, love, love cheese, so much so that I have always thought that becoming a cheese monger would be a dream job (there's still time for that.) I have also noticed that I am just eating less, which is probably a surefire way to drop some pounds.

Yes, friends, I am officially fat. I'm not the kind of pudgy that you can pass off as 'just a little extra' or even 'curvy.' Mama has gotten off balance in the food department (Lorelei hasn't, though. I've made sure of that.) So, I need to make some changes without rocking my already-wobbly boat too much, and so far, I've been able to wrap my brain around this idea.

We'll see if I drop any weight. I'll keep you posted. And, no, I'm not going to tell you how much I weigh now or share a before picture. I'll share those details when they are in my past... you nosey bunch, you.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Sometimes you just have to turn the page

I haven't had a lot to say about food and feeding my kid of late. I've been super busy blogging for my company (yes, if you remember, this blog got me a blog job. Ha! Who'da thunk, right?!)

Anyhoo, what I'm finding myself wanting to talk about but have kept my trap shut about on this blog is the frustrations of being three. This being, at least initially, a food-focused blog, I haven't wanted to vent... er... share my experiences of parenthood of a three-year-old in regard to things away from feeding my child and sharing recipes,

but ....

darling-of-a-child that I once had?!?

Now, please know that I'm not bragging when I say this, but I am very pleased to tell you that I did set up a good groundwork for my kiddo's dietary habits. She likes salad, beans are her favorite, she is insistent that I try new things, and she is very good about doing the same herself. My frustrations (happily) do not lie in that realm of our relationship.

What I don't get, however, is the demonic, deaf, banshee-like flopping fits that occur when you hand the child a piece of bread that is toasted as opposed to not. 

What I can't grasp is the thrashing about in the carseat in protest to when I turn off the radio in order to hear the child speak. (It is important to listen and hear what your kids are saying to you from time to time, right?)

What I am learning is that when my mother growled these words to me when I was four years old, "You shall reap as you have sewn, young lady" is that what she meant to say was, "When your child is this age, I know that God in Heaven, or Karma, or whatever power is out there that governs your future,  youuuuuu wiiillllll ruuuuuueee the daaaaaaayyyyy.

Even now we are having a tug of war. A war of wills. She's screaming and I'm trying to be in my quiet place. (You may be asking yourself, "Why the hell are you writing in a damn blog? THAT's you're quiet place?" Well, it's either venting through my words that someone may read or crying into a pillow, and I don't feel like crying right now. I have dinner to get on the table and I can't see all that well when my eyes are all swollen from tears.)

I feel like an ass hole most of the time, frankly. My friends tell me I'm doing it right, but I still feel bad most of the time. I have guilt that I'm too strict. I feel like I don't take enough time for her: reading, doing puzzles, helping her with you name it... But I'm doing everything else, so I just, ugh, I simply just can't.

I'm tired. I'm always tired. My mom gives me a hard time telling me to ease up on my social calendar, but the truth is, when friends come over with their kids, that's the time where I don't have to entertain the child. It's the time when I get to actually have adult conversation. It's the time where I don't have to censor myself (too much), and it's the time when I can tuck away for 5 minutes and get the laundry out of the dryer without company.

I have a confession. Today, when I left work, I stepped into the elevator and when the door closed, I cried a bit during the ten-floor descent. I knew that that time would be the only time I would have to myself all day.

That's all for now.

Expect more ''sharing of life experiences" than recipes for the time being. 

For dinner tonight: Mom had Triscuits and Tillamook Cheddar cheese (an über comfort food favorite) and for Lorelei... I don't know. My dear friend Lidia just called and kicked me out of the house. Mama's going to see Mark Bittman speak in Seattle tonight.


This week's guilty pleasures:
- The afore mentioned Triscuits and Cheddar Cheese
- Trader Joe's cheapest wine (just above Gato Blanco)
- Essential Bakery's rosemary bread with tomatoes, fresh mozz, and basil
- The Voice
- David Cross' I drink for a reason

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Mama's back in the kitchen - and going gray.

Ahhh tomatoes. Like every other food blogger ON EARTH, I am posting a picture of a quintessential summer dish: Caprese.

This one is made with fresh Mozz from my local market, vine-ripened tomatoes (no... not the organic heirlooms which were near $6 a pound), fresh basil that's taking over my mom's back yard, salted tomato water, olive oil, and a few turns of cracked pepper.

All I can say is, yum!

I would say, "Going, going, gone," but it was more like,

sounds that could be misinterpreted as being sensual, 

Then, gone. Salted basilic tomato water and all.

It should be noted that I was alone in my efforts, 
save one forcibly encouraged bite that the child took.

On that note:

An interesting thing has happened in regard to feeding my foodie kid since I've stepped back from this blog for a bit. She's now three-an-a-half going on the most stubborn sixteen-year-old you've ever met. Mind you, she still eats any and all of the things I put in front of her (good early pallet training to thank for that) but there are perceptions she has towards the definitions of given meals through the day that go beyond my comprehension and that cause, from time to time, world war Shaking the walls and I'm going to win not you kind of, let's call them, tiffs. ubt

Breakfast: noun  (Child's definition) an obstacle to be avoided at all costs in order to, a) not have to go to school b) delay spending time in front of thekkkjit; ;  TV c) unabashedly defying mom's edict

Mom's learned tactic to avoid conflict and get child fed before the imminent departure: whatever you do, DON'T CALL IT BREAKFAST and offer, if not place out favorite items for child's personal assembly:

- cereal box + milk carton + bowl + spoon = success.

Other go to equations equal:

- unopened yogurt container + portion of granola in jar + bowl of berries + spoon = total win and maybe even a thumbs up from the kiddo!

- an invitation to help cook eggs + utensil to gather necessary butter for the egg pan + ask for assistance to get a fresh plate from the dishwasher = fascinated and sated child.

And finally (there are more if you care to hear):

- place a piece of bread in the toaster over + (watch mom turn on oven... hands off zone) + instruct child to gather jelly and spoon for spreading said condiment on soon-to-be-toasted selection of bready goodness = a mumbling, happy monkey.

The attitude continues around a lot of things food these days, I think because I took such a hard line from the start. But the foundation has been laid, and I am happy for it. My kid will try everything that she is fed and will give in when the fight she's been laying out is clearly lost (meaning she really likes that which she decided to not like despite her mama's say.)

So, what to do with a kiddo that loves food but needs to control her world a little more? Let her, to a point, and figure out some ways to get my way; meaning the way that she needs for her health and well-being (both dietary and for reasons of self sustenance when she's grown.) I won't call it trickery because I'm not, and won't, hide foods in food just to get it in my kid's diet, rather, I'll use different words:

"Do you want yogurt?"


"Do you want breakfast?" for instance.

(Currently beating head against table, kitchen counter, head board... er-um. Ha! Here's wishing.)

Lord help me through these years. Frankly, I feel like this a lot these days...

Do you have any tips to help me and maybe some of my readers who are parents as to how to deal with attitude in toddlers-cum-shit heads? (It's a term of endearment, really!)